just the plain old me.

there are many types of people in the world. some believe in psychotic things; everything that gotta do with mental (which in my opinion, is very unreal). others believe in science and logic. which group do you belong to? i guess i belong to the second group. take an example.. say, ghost? many people believe in ghost because they think that ghosts exist. i bet they ever tried to imagine how a damn pontianak(?) will look like. the second group of people will not believe ghosts exist. why? cos scientific researches show that there are no such things as ghosts. we'll be thinking like "c'mon ghosts! if you say you exists, prove it to us! show yourself!" but day after day, no ghost ever "dared" to confront us. moreover, deluding yourselves in ghosts will only make you very humji. you dont dare to go out at night cos of the "creepy scary ghosties worx". during the band camp, we had this night walk around the school (as i mentioned before). the so-called ghosts are just the ncc cadets and band seniors. idk why people scream for what. those are people lor. orh, so you see them as a spirit lah? okok. i'll give benefit of a doubt and i guess you guys screamed cos like tio shocked? quiet quiet in the night then suddenly one crazy band senior jump out from behind the pillar and shout "RAUR" - made you shocked? okay. cool. ya know, ghosts are just psychological la. i'm not even sure if there's another world after death. :l if there isnt, the ghosts from where come one? roaming wanderless ghosts? kk enough of these. the main thing i'm talking about is Jesus. i srsly cannot bring myself to believe that he is blessing us and fulfiling our wishes now and then. i know i'm just a WHATEVER LOL. idk the word for it. i know that he is God, Lord, Almighty. budden i believe that whatever happens to us is scientific, or luck. god, i'm just a letdown. ): but there are still times when i pray la. like saying my grace, before sleep. since i do not believe in God, i do not want the people from church, and God, to have false hope in me. and that's why i backslided from CTRC. of course i very much want to believe in Him, to have faith in Him. but i dont even feel the presence of him. do you think i am an unfeeling creature? the time when the drama played, i had no feelings, no nothing. well except the nailing of Jesus to the cross. imagine i was in his place, i sure want to faster die than to be tortured slowly. look, even the story of Jesus i am still skeptic. pastor say that either year 2000 or 2000 years ago (LOL big diff but i forgot is which), there's this person she from neck down paralysed. after she come to CHC, she can walk and move her limbs. miracle? hokay.. i believe in miracles, somewhat. could be the nerves suddenly "closed circuit". not denying god but there can be many possibilities what. idk if i'm into religions.. idek if i'm going next saturday.

SIGHSIGHSIGH.

walao and later got syf rehearsal at 3pm. SUCKS LOR, go back at 11pm. no one's happy bout going home late, unless it's something you love to do. so dont come tell me i'm such a friggin missy who has serious AP. tell me something i dont know? :l